Bullying-reasons or whims?

espeon · 2007-02-21 03:05:55

well as you can see this topic is about bullying. This is a very important topic at present and people want to know why people bully. anyone got any ideas? i personally think that they just cant stand anyone different.

most people say they have reasons but other people just do it as a whim of their desires. I also want to know which is it?

Please reply if you have any ideas

mathsyperson · 2007-02-21 05:49:19

I think that most bullying has some kind of reason behind it, even though those reasons are never good.

"Grr, my classmate over there is getting 100% on all his tests and I'm a complete idiot, which means that in a few years he'll be a multimillionnaire and I'll be sweeping roads. I don't like that his life is going to be better than mine, so I'll just go ahead and make his current life a complete misery to make myself feel better."

Although it's equally likely that that bullying might actually occur like this:
"Grr, my classmate over there is getting 100% on all his tests and the rest of us are complete idiots. He's different from us, which automatically means that we don't like him. BULLY THE CLEVER FREAK!"

With possible contribution from:
"Grr, my classmate over there is getting 100% on all his tests and the rest of us are complete idiots. My other classmates, who by the way are precisely as idiotic as me, will probably be expecting me to like, bully him or something. Wouldn't want to disappoint them. Besides, I'm a sheep who isn't capable of forming my own opinion on anything."

Other possible reasons for bullying are for material possessions, like mobile phones or money.
I think that espeon's right that most bullying does occur on a whim, as in, it's not premeditated, but that doesn't mean that there isn't some kind of reason.

Of course, those reasons are all stupid and it certainly doesn't justify bullying in any way at all, but I'm just saying that bullies don't just randomly bully people because they feel like it. Most of the time, anyway.

espeon · 2007-02-21 07:02:56

hmmm true. one case with me is

god! she is such a chinese *****! she thinks shes so smart since shes good at maths, science and english! I'll make her pay!

that is case of rascism and jealousy ( I guess thats what you call it when someones smart and they dont like it)

with racism i doubt they feel threatened or jealous. They just hate us and think they are doing a favour.

I have though *ahem* punched them though. But i had right. I couldn't take it after all those years and they just crossed the line. Right now my best friends are boys...(except for 1 girl. i thought i had best friends who were girls but they double crossed me and stabbed me in the back when i was most vulnerable)

In the end bullying is a never ending disaster. No doubt most bullies have reasons but the rest just do it out of a mere whim I'm guessing.

Last edited by espeon (2007-02-21 07:03:24)

MathsIsFun · 2007-02-21 08:32:34

For some reason bullying is very common in schools and much less common in workplaces, etc. So perhaps it is *childish* behavior.

I think all bullys should be reported and dealt with by teachers.

mathsyperson · 2007-02-21 09:06:57

That's an interesting point, but a possible other explanation for that is that if an adult did start bullying people, then police could get involved. So even if they hadn't matured at all in the last 5 years or whatever, that new factor could dissuade them.

Patrick · 2007-02-21 09:10:34

MathsIsFun - I'm not sure how correct the workplace assumption is correct. Studies in Denmark have shown that it is much more common than most people thought. I can't remember the precise details, but for obvious reasons the bullying was carried out in a different manner (you can't fight or throw files out right there at work).

MathsIsFun · 2007-02-21 10:54:12

Interesting point Patrick. Maybe I have just been lucky in my career so far.

I know that in workplaces people often want to get ahead of their fellows, but that is more "sporty" than actual "bullying".

espeon · 2007-02-21 20:41:56

bullying have come in all types of ways and in office reasons i doubt its much different. maybe like picking on you giving you the worst of the jobs and making you waste ur own free time,volunteering you in extra work you didnt accept or maybe giving you minimum wage.

with children they actually punch and hit you using physical contact to make you feel pain or they can keep mentally attacking you using verbal words.

Toast · 2007-02-21 22:14:36

I think workplace bullying is much worse... in school you may get verbally attacked or hit a bit, but regarding your future it's not really that much of a deal... in the workplace people have a lot more power to do things that can potentially kill your career.

However, shoolyard bullying is still stupid, and I think only about 1/10 of all incidents are ever noticed (or cared about) by teachers.

All the while teachers try to give the illusion of justice...

George,Y · 2007-02-21 22:38:54

Hope you can get a way out of it, espeon. Supposedly, by helping your friends out with your acadamic talent.

Toast · 2007-02-22 00:40:04

That doesn't work all the time... personal experience -.-

Sometimes it does, but other times they will just cling to you for every question or assignment and you won't have any time for yourself...

Jai Ganesh · 2007-02-22 01:49:52

I do agree with all the points made in earlier posts;
I feel bullying could also be a result on an inferiority complex or sense of insecurity!
Bullying isn't too uncommon at workplace, luckily, I haven't been a victim ever!
But as MathsIsFun pointed out, it is childish behavior!
Oft, I do sympathise with the affected, and try to assuage the damage caused by some way, but certainly not in any way reminding them of the improper treatment they had been subjected to.

espeon · 2007-02-22 07:51:09

George,Y wrote:

Hope you can get a way out of it, espeon. Supposedly, by helping your friends out with your acadamic talent.

Why would i help those back stabbing math and math?

Last edited by espeon (2007-02-22 07:51:24)

George,Y · 2007-02-22 23:35:52

Help those who don't bully you

espeon · 2007-02-23 01:36:12

hmmm i guess its easier to say who doesnt bully me.

Heres my list;

...

The end

George,Y · 2007-02-23 01:45:04

Oh pitty!

espeon · 2007-02-23 02:00:29

thank you

Ninja 101 · 2007-02-23 03:27:32

I don't bully you, or devante or mathsisfun etc...

espeon · 2007-02-23 08:27:06

I'm talking about people of whom I have met. People you meet online are much nicer lol.

Zach · 2007-02-23 10:46:59

That's a rather bland statement, Espeon. I can personally vouch that there are people online who are not so nice.

However, bullies. As may have been said, Bullies strive for attention and strive to get what they need, they attempt to pick on the weak to make up for their own flaws, attempting to gain popularity or skills through the ability to overpower. It's a psychological behaviour; they see you as a threat, more specfically a non-physical threat, but a mental one. One capable of overpowering their simplistic one track minds.

And thus I do quote;
"Ignore them. They are those without pride or loyalty. To retaliate would do nothing but honour them" ~ A great man

As I said, Bullies strive for attention and to fix their own shortcomings. They find its the easiest to do this by defeating you, you who do not possess their mental flaws, you who have the advantage over them. Do not shout at them, do not lash out at them, do not even acknowledge them, for they are only out to provoke reaction. There is nothing worse to a bully than to get no reaction, to be ignored will make them realise how worthless they really are.

And that they are, in this current state, worthless.

Now, me... I may seem like a rather nasty person, an internet bully, whatever you'd want to call me. I know how I can seem that way, I write things that can seem awfully hurtful. But, I know what you're going through. Me? I got bullied, quite a bit. I counteracted it by getting bigger, I strengthened myself, but I still listened to what they said. They still came, nevermind how much I stood firm, I could make them run away by walking to them, but it didn't stop it.

I then stopped caring. I lost faith in humanity, I lost faith in the intelligence of people and I shallowed into apathy. I didn't care for people who weren't important for me, I started to hate people, I became sour, I became malevolent.

And y'know what? That's not good. My anger, my hatred, all inside me. I'd lash out if anything could irk me, I punched dents into solid metal, I snapped a golf club in two with my hands and I broke things because of my rage.

It took my friends to calm me to such a state I am now. I've had few real friends, true friends, but those who I call friends; I care about them now. I'm loyal to them, I'd do anything for them. They helped me smile again, nevermind how much I dislike smiling.

Don't let it get to you. Never abandon your friends. Never lash out at them. Ignore those who are intent on harming you, calm yourself from their quips and bullyings. Heck, even smile at your verbal attackers. Y'know what they hate the most? Knowing you don't care. Smile and grin. Keep your friends, don't slip into a state of apathy, do not brood over it, do not think about it, do not even give it a thought. You're better than them, you're working a completely different plane of intelligence from them.

Also, if a guy ever hits you for anything, I'll be happy to snap his arm in three places.

That's the end of my speech.
~ Zach

Toast · 2007-02-23 11:16:07

Lucky Zach, 'true' friends are incredibly rare when you move into high school. High school is pretty much the transition from the friendly, peaceful sanctuary of junior-middle school, to the dog-eat-dog world.
In high school many people who call each other friends are in fact close rivals, who constantly try climbing on top of each other and winning ego competitions.

Well... at least at my school anyway.

Zach · 2007-02-23 11:20:15

A friend should push you to do your best, a true friend will expand your horizons and knowledge. It is natural for one to attempt to do better at things that others. I maintain my tenacious attitude to knowledge by attempting to out-do one of my closest friends. It's not fierce, it's friendly.

Competition is healthy, remember.

Toast · 2007-02-23 11:33:44

Heh, I guess so, but I probably didn't put enough emphasis on the 'ego' part.

Zach · 2007-02-23 11:35:38

If ego ever gets in the way of friendship, it's bad. Nevermind how much you love yourself, you should be looking out for your friends, not just yourself.

Tigeree · 2007-02-23 14:00:43

some people just have a bad childhood

Math Is Fun Forum

#1 2007-02-21 03:05:55

Bullying-reasons or whims?

#2 2007-02-21 05:49:19

Re: Bullying-reasons or whims?

#3 2007-02-21 07:02:56

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#4 2007-02-21 08:32:34

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#6 2007-02-21 09:10:34

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