Good Jokes Pt III

Ma+th=fun · 2007-06-02 10:15:28

nice jokes and great smilelys

it claps 4 the jokes and the smileys

Last edited by Ma+th=fun (2007-06-02 10:16:00)

Jai Ganesh · 2007-06-02 17:51:49

An Iowan walks into a hardware store and asks for a chain saw that will cut 6 trees in one hour. The salesman recommends the top of the line model. The Iowan is suitably impressed, and buys it. The next day he brings it back and says, "This chainsaw is defective. It would only cut down 1 tree and it took ALL darn DAY!" The salesman takes the chain saw, starts it up to see what's wrong, and the Iowan says, "What's that noise?"

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?" "Why, it's bean soup," she replied. "I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?"

If it's true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why so many mothers cry so much at weddings.

U7109 · 2007-06-02 19:42:50

OMG, THAT'S SO FUNNY! AHH! MY SPLINE!

Note: I used the URL of the image.

Ma+th=fun · 2007-06-03 01:59:13

LOL, THOSE WERE SOOOO FUNNY

i blew up laughing

Last edited by Ma+th=fun (2007-06-03 02:00:19)

Jai Ganesh · 2007-06-07 02:22:08

You walk by a nerd and you see him putting ice cubes up his nose,... so you ask why he's doing that.

He answers,"I'm keeping my lunch cold."

A guy has one arm and decides he doesn't want to go on with life, not being able to do the things other guys can do with two arms. So, he goes up to the 20th story of a building and is trying to build up the nerve to jump. As he's standing there a guy comes walking on the sidewalk below.

The one-armed man notice's that this other guy has NO arms at all. He watches as the guy stops on the sidewalk and starts dancing and spinning in circles. The one-armed man thinks to himself how selfish he is in that he has one arm and is ready to end it all! So, he decides to go down and talk to the No-armed man.

He goes down and walks up to the guy and says, Hey man Ive been up on the 20th floor considering to end it all because I have only One arm Here you are with No arms and are dancing around. Whats your deal?

The guy with No arms says, Arrrrr dude I'm NOT happy! My nose itches!!!

Moral: Think Differently. If you got no arms, get a friend to itch your nose.

WHERE DO TUFF CHICKENS COME FROM???

HARD BOILED EGGS!

A duck hunter needed a new bird dog, so he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve the duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.

He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a true pessimist and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. They fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet.

The friend saw everything but didn't say a single word. On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything funny about my new dog?" "I sure did," responded his friend. "He can't swim!"

A lady named Sally visited the zoo. She saw a pink gorilla. Next to the cage was a sign that said, "Do Not Touch! DANGEROUS!" She wanted to see what the gorilla felt like, so she looked both ways and made sure the coast was clear.

Then she reached in and touched the gorilla. She heard someone coming, and quickly withdrew her hand and kept walking. That night after she had eaten dinner, she was resting in her purple recliner watching the news. A warning flashed across the TV. "Warning, Pink Gorilla escapes from zoo. If found, please call the zoo."

Immediately Sally knew the gorilla was after her. Then she heard a Bang! Bang! Bang! on her front door. She got up, looked through the peep hole and saw the pink gorilla. She ran through the house, out the back door and into the garage. She jumped into her red Mercedes and drove as fast as she could. The pink gorilla saw her leave and jumped into his green Ford truck and chased after her.

Sally looked through her rearview mirror and saw the gorilla quickly gaining speed. Soon he pulled up next to her. Sally jerked on the emergency break, jumped out of the car and started running. As she was running she saw that she was approaching the edge of a cliff. She stopped not sure what to do. She spun around and saw the pink gorilla lumbering after her getting closer and CLOSER.

The gorilla approached her, Sally threw up her arms to protect herself the gorilla reached out HIS hairy pink hand and touched Sallys head. Shaking a bit, Sally began to relax and slowly lowered her hands looking puzzled at the gorilla. The gorilla gave a little evil smirk and said, "Tag, you're it!!!" and he dashed off.

Ma+th=fun · 2007-06-07 03:53:59

lol my fav was #1

Last edited by Ma+th=fun (2007-06-07 03:55:15)

sweasgirl · 2007-06-07 15:40:58

ganesh wrote:

The story is told of the Atheist who accosted a preacher. "Do you believe in eternal life?" The preacher has no time to reply. "Well its a load of rubbish!" shouted the Atheist. "I believe in science, evolution, survival of the fittest, and when we die, that's it! No eternal life, no great judgement, and no God!" The Atheist continues his assault against the preacher repetitiously and tirelessly. "Eternal life! Eternal life! Ha! "Its all pie in the sky when you die." When I die that's it, the end, no eternal life, no nothing. He continues, until he reaches his climax, "I will be buried six feet under when I die and that's it! Nothing! Caput! When I die I am utterly convinced that that will be the end of me!" "Well thank God for that" replies the preacher!
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! what are 4, 2, 28 and 44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"
There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would move the pig from one apple to another until the pig was satisfied, then he would start again with another pig. The city man watched this activity for some time with great astonishment. Finally, he could not resist saying to the farmer, "This is the most inefficient method of feeding pigs that I can imagine. Just think of the time that would be saved if you simply shook the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the ground!" The farmer looked puzzled and replied, "What's time to a pig?"
A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head. The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what's going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, "Pardon me. May I help you with something." The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around."

that was good:D

infinitebrain · 2008-07-07 11:18:29

the jokes are gold I love them!

Last edited by infinitebrain (2008-07-07 11:19:09)

Math Is Fun Forum

#26 2007-06-02 10:15:28

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

#27 2007-06-02 17:51:49

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

#28 2007-06-02 19:42:50

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

#29 2007-06-03 01:59:13

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

#30 2007-06-07 02:22:08

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

#31 2007-06-07 03:53:59

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

#32 2007-06-07 15:40:58

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

#33 2008-07-07 11:18:29

Re: Good Jokes Pt III

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